Episode 45: Travel Tips for Young Families with Melissa Harms from Everyday Family Travel Blog

Hey everyone!!

This week on the podcast, I chatted with Melissa Harms from Everyday Family Travel Blog. Melissa and her husband and their 4 young kids make traveling a priority and are filled with wisdom from their experiences!

Catch the podcast episode here!

More from Melissa: 

Everyday Family Travel Blog

Everyday Family Travel Resource Hub - Free Printable Travel Goodies, access to Free Facebook Groups, Top Travel Booking Tools. 

18 Road Trip Hacks for Kids

Everyday Family Travel Blog on Instagram

Melissa: I'm so glad to be here. I'm Melissa. I'm a mom of four. We have three boys and one girl. And I'm also from the Oklahoma City area. I am kind of a serial entrepreneur. I love building businesses. And so my most recent business is a travel blog called Everyday Family Travel. And I started this about a year ago to help inspire families with kids to travel together and to give and resources to take the overwhelm out of traveling with kids.

Courtney: I love that this is like perfect timing because we haven't been like big traveling family, but we want to be so I was like so excited when I found you because I was like this is perfect. This is what I need to know. So have you always traveling or is there something that you and your husband decided when you had kids?

How did this love for family travel come about?

Melissa: Yeah, I would say my love for travel really sparked in college. I actually studied abroad for a semester in Spain, which was just the coolest experience. I was able to travel around Spain, kind of like a local and kind of around Europe as well. And then the following summer, I was an intern for a missions organization in Mexico. So I feel like all that time in college, traveling around the world just kind of. It showed me what was out there, the opportunities, and just experiencing those different cultures was very impactful for me. So that kind of is what sparked my love for travel. My husband and I have always had the goal to travel together, just the two of us, as well as with a family. Of course, that has looked differently in different seasons of parenthood and motherhood. But yeah, that's always been something that's been important to us as a family.

Courtney:
That's sweet. So do you have just like a running list of future vacations or 

What's your step by step process if you're thinking of the next family vacation?

Melissa: Yeah, so I always just kind of start with a travel bucket list. And for me, that doesn't necessarily mean that I'm trying to check off every single item on that list, but it just kind of helps me to have a running list of places that spark my interest. So any time I'm on social media or chatting with a friend and see a cool destination, I just jot that down. I just use my notes app in my phone to do that. And it just kind of gives me a starting point when we decide that we're going to start planning our next trip.

So from there, I kind of look at our calendar, see when we have the opportunity to take a trip, and I compare that to my little bucket list because not every single destination is going to be ideal for every season of the year. So I kind of start from there, looking at where we want to go when we have the time. And then from there, we start to save. We do a travel budget just for a trip.

And to fill in our budget, we look at our transportation options, our accommodation options, what activities we want to do to kind of give us a rough budget of what we need to save for. And then once we have the trip saved for in advance, we go ahead and do our bookings. So we'll book our travel and accommodations pretty much at the same time, and then followed by the activities of things we want to do if they require tickets, things like that.

And then I like to create our itinerary. So I research kind of all the things to do in the area. And I just write them down on a big brainstorming list. Just using Google, other blogs to give me ideas. And then I kind of plug into our itinerary the things that I want to make sure we get in there, kind of those must-dos. I usually plan those at the beginning of the trip, just in case something happens, kid gets sick for a couple days, or we have bad weather, we still have time to get in those kind of must-do activities in the end if we need to. And then just fill in the rest of our itinerary with kind of some of those supplementary activities as well as some downtime, which is much needed when you're traveling with kids. And we kind of go from there.

Courtney: 
That is so good. I love that you just said so many good things. I'm like gonna have to go back and take notes because like even you just kind of talked about mindset, which was one of the things I wanted to ask you about my husband and I when we just recently went on this trip beforehand, we were like, okay, let's get on the same page here. What's the point of this trip? The point is just make memories with our kids. We want to have good relationships with them. We want them to look back and think this is great. And you kind of just alluded to like a kid could get sick. It could be rainy weather.

Do you and your husband have any advice for mindset or expectations with kids especially?

Melissa: Yeah, I would say to start off with keeping your kids in mind when you choose your destination. Not all destinations are going to be great with especially younger kids. so just kind of setting yourself up for success in that area, making sure there's things to do that your kids are going to love, that the activities are very flexible. then, yeah, flexibility is really just key. Taking it day by day. I love having an itinerary, but every itinerary is going to change. there may be times where you don't get to spend as much time at the beach as you wanted, or you have to leave the museum early, and you just have to expect that so that you're setting yourself up for success. Your kids don't see you disappointed when things have to change. They're gonna really learn from you and your adaptability. Also, we kind of keep in mind that it's not really gonna be restful. I often come back from traveling more tired than when I went.

Courtney: Yeah, that's true.

Melissa: If we're taking our kids along at least and that's just the expectation that we have now. Just having those realistic expectations when it comes to traveling with kids, know, having grace for yourself, for your kids. It's hard for us to be out of our routine and it's even harder for our kids to be out of their routine. So just understanding that things are going to change. You're going to have to take it day by day, moment by moment. Starting small if you haven't traveled with kids before starting with maybe a day trip or a weekend trip and kind of building from there.

Courtney: Yeah, that is so true. And I like what you said about putting yourself in your kids shoes. I try to do that too. I'm like, okay, we gave them ice cream, no nap, and they have no idea where they are or what's coming next. You know, it's like, sometimes you have to put yourself in their shoes and be like, of course they're like a little bit off because we all are just adults are a little bit better at managing that sometimes and still just like staying calm or, you know, ready for what's coming next. And sometimes it's harder, especially for little kids. So I like that you said that too. think that's totally true.

And the picking where you go... the trip we just recently went on that I keep talking about was 30A and I saw you had a lot of 30A stuff on your blog. I know you've been there. And I kept thinking like, this is the perfect place to bring kids. I'm sure you have other ideas, but like the waitresses and waiters like weren't stressed out everyone around. Like if you really want to avoid kids, that's probably not like where you're going to be in general. Like there was just so many families and I did kind of let my guard down a little bit being like the expectation here isn't like perfect quiet. Like it was a good place to be with kids. I'm glad you pointed that out. Like from the beginning, like if you're bringing kids, where are we going? What's it like there? It just kind of starting with, is this a good setup to begin with? So that's a good idea. And then you talked about budgeting, which is so smart and obviously wise.

And that's why you're good to speak to this because a lot of people want to travel, but then they think like, I can't afford it or is it a good idea? Are there better things I can do with my money? And I know that everyone's gonna have different opinions on that but what would be your advice as far as like affording travel or like keeping costs down? Like you said maybe even like a day trip or something.

Do you have any tips for the mom that's afraid to travel for mainly financial reasons?

Melissa: Yeah, I would say first of all, don't sweat it if that's not your season of life right now. And if you can't afford a big vacation, know, social media makes it seem like everybody is going to all these places all the time. And that hasn't been true for us in every season. And I don't think that's true for most people in every season. So if that's not something you can do right now, that's totally fine. And, you know, don't discount those day trips or those short weekend trips. Honestly, if you can find a lake and some rocks... 99 % of kids are going to be so happy and talk about that forever that they went hiking and threw rocks in the lake and had a picnic. Those days can be just as special as traveling around the country. like I said, there have been plenty of seasons where we didn't travel nearly as much or even at all because of finances, because of stages of our kids.

Courtney: That is so true.

Melissa: So don't let that suck the joy out of your life and your family if you feel like that's not something you can do right now. Just figure out other ways to make memories. I mean, we live in Oklahoma, not the most exciting place in the world, but there's still day trips all over the state that are really fun and that can still be really impactful for your kids. So if you do decide to go on a budget, or I'm sorry, to go on a vacation and you have a more strict budget to stick to, some tips that I would share would be driving instead of flying, especially if you have a larger family, can make a huge impact on the overall budget of your trip. Traveling during the shoulder seasons or the off season, one thing that many people don't know is that most hotels, vacation rentals, and even airlines, they change their prices day by day based on supply and demand. And so if you have flexible travel dates that can really be key to getting a better deal. We love going kind of like in May right when school gets out before the summer crowds really get to different destinations across the United States or traveling during fall break, things like that can really help keep those vacation costs lower. And along those same lines, booking your vacation rental for weeknights can really help save costs as well. We went to Carlton Landing, Oklahoma last summer, which is a really fun little weekend getaway. And we paid half the cost because we went in the middle of the week versus the weekend. So that's another thing that we do often is to just really look at the dates and compare prices, both airlines as well as accommodations. And they can just they can vary quite a bit. So yeah. And then also getting a place kind of more outside of town can really help as well. You staying in a house on the beach versus a mile from the beach, you can save thousands of dollars just in looking a little bit outside of the main area. We also buy groceries and we cook meals quite a bit. We don't do that for every meal if we don't have to because I love having a little bit of a break when we're on vacation, but usually at least two meals a day we'll cook in our vacation rental, especially breakfast. That's kind of easy to just kind of whip up some pancakes or something for the kids and really saves a lot of money, especially, you we have four kids. So even a couple of meals out can get pricey and just buying groceries or taking groceries ourselves if we're going on a road trip can really keep those costs down. Almost any place you go is going to have free options of things to do. We love to hike. That's almost always free. There's usually great parks in different cities that are good free options. And then Different museums often offer free days. If you just go to their website and look up, we recently went to San Antonio and one of the main museums we wanted to go to, they were free on Tuesdays. So we just planned our itinerary around that and went on a Tuesday. Yeah.

Courtney: Oh, smart. That's cool. You are full of good ideas. I love it. 

Melissa: Also, don't know if you ever, have you ever heard of Turo, the car rental company? Okay. Yeah, so it's like Airbnb, but for cars. And it is almost always cheaper than doing a traditional car rental company. We've done it in four different states now, have had really good experiences, kind of like with Airbnb, we make sure and get one with, you know, a highly rated host and things like that. But.

Courtney: Yes, I just recently heard of it. I've never done it myself.

Melissa: It often saves us hundreds of dollars if we do need to rent a car. So yeah, check out Turo.

Courtney:Smart. Okay, that's a good idea. I'm glad that you said that. I also saw you mentioned, you know, driving instead of flying and we recently drove to Florida, which is like a 14 hour drive. And we, like I said, we're not like major traveling family. And so like for us, it like felt like forever. And honestly, my kids were fine. It was me and my husband being like this forever.

So what's your advice or your go-to tips for long road trips with kids?

And I saw on your blog something that I wish I had done. And it was like at the top of the car, kind of like a mapped out timeline of different maybe stops that you had or cities that you'd pass or something. And you had like a little car that moved each like stop. And I thought that was such a good idea because I'm always trying to think of ways to explain like the concept of time and distance for my kids because, you know, sometimes we're little kids, like 30 minutes is the same as three hours. They're like. What do you mean? This is forever. So that was such a good idea.

Image from Everyday Family Travel Blog (linked here!)

Melissa: Exactly. Yeah, we love to do that with our kids. It just, you know, helps them to see that we are getting there, you know, slowly but surely. And I like to do that just by picking maybe five or six stops along the way or major cities along the way that you might pass and creating a visual timeline. And then you just move that little car along so they can see where you are at in your trip. And yeah, that can really help. We also just love to make sure that we have fun activities for those long travel days. And we don't necessarily give them access to all the activities at once because then they're all old, know, within the first hour or something. we just, kind of do a few different things at a time. We have a road trip box that we keep in like high up in a closet at home. And so it only comes down for road trips. So these are all things that they don't get to play with daily at home. They're just for road trips and We kind of hand those out throughout the trip to just kind of keep things fresh and keep them engaged. We also aren't afraid to use some screen time. We usually try to use it kind of those times that you just really need to get 30 more minutes down the road and everybody's getting cranky and so we'll put on a show for a while. But I have no shame in using some screen time when needed, especially on those really long drives. Yeah.

And then one kind of fun idea is to have an hourly surprise bag. So again, with keeping things fresh, this works especially well for younger kids that are kind of entertained with just about anything. So you can just use like some brown lunch sacks for this and you can write like hour one, hour two on each one and just have like a little trinket. These can be like dollar store items, Dollar Tree items, stickers, little action figures, little Hot Wheels cars.

Image from Everyday Family Travel Blog (linked here!)

Painters tape is one of my favorite hacks. Even little toddlers, love to just stick and unstick painters tape over and over or use the painters tape for drawing out little car roads on like a tray and give them a little Hot Wheels car that they can drive around. Just anything that can just be kind of new, something they haven't seen before can really help buy you time.

And then of course, snacks, take so many more snacks than you think you need. Everybody needs all the snacks. We always try to get some snacks that they haven't had before as well, which is kind of nice. Some suckers that will maybe last 10 or 15 minutes just to buy you some extra time. Anything just to keep them engaged and happy and keep you traveling down the road.

Courtney: That's a good idea. I also saw another thing on your blog that I told like two friends about that have a lot of like young kids where they have kind of like a third row and the person in the back still pretty young. You said something about like a Igrabber or like a fishnet or something to like hand back the snacks. ∫ B B I was like, that is so smart. Cause it's like, you'll throw something and it like lands on the ground and then the kids crying and you're like, there's nothing I can do. I can't reach it. I was like, that is a mom who thought of that tip because that is so smart. You should like patent that or like, that should be your invention. The third row grabber for young kids. That was so funny. Okay, so anything else for just like a mom who's kind of like overwhelmed or intimidated by the idea of like, traveling logistics, I think you've kind of already said just kind of like your mindset.

Is there anything else that you want to share with moms? 

Melissa: Yeah, and just starting with those shorter trips, you day trips or just a single night overnight. And honestly, sometimes longer trips can be a little bit easier because at least for us, the first night is the hardest. So if you only ever try a one night trip, you might be frustrated. But I still think that's a good place to start is just those day trips or those easier overnight trips or just a longer weekend. And then, as much as you can, if you can keep those nap times and bedtime routines the same, that can really make a big difference in your kids staying happy and not getting over tired. So, you know, we take everything for overnight for our kids. We take the nightlights, we take their stuffies, we take their pillows and their blankets and their sound machines, just blackout curtains, anything that we need to make the environment as close to possible because if nobody sleeps at night, nobody's going to have fun the next day. So just kind of setting yourself up for success in that way.

Courtney: Yeah, that's so true. That's a good idea. The one trip we went on like before this was to Tulsa, which from here is like an hour and a half. And we just stayed in a hotel that had a pool. It was like a very inexpensive hotel that like wasn't anything fancy, but it did have a pool. And my kids thought it was like the best vacation. Like they were like, we have a pool at the hotel. And it was like, like you said, just so it was our first one and it was just like a two day.

And we did like a little science museum and like a restaurant like that was kind of it and that felt like it kind of meets what you're saying as like a first road trip along the same lines.

Melissa: Absolutely, and the kids do not need fancy things. We think we need to go to great lengths to book the best place to stay and the best attractions and all of this. They're just so happy with just being with their family, doing something different, and making those fun memories.

Courtney Lundeen (19:44.548)y: Yeah, that is so true.

Has travel taught you anything particularly about motherhood?

Melissa: As far as what it teaches me, I would say that it has definitely stretched me in just trying to be flexible. I'm a very type A person. I like to stick to a schedule. I like to get to our destination on time, all of those things. And it just often does not happen when you're traveling with multiple little kids. And so each time I learned to get a little bit more flexible, to have a little bit more realistic expectations. So that's a way that it's grown me a little bit.

And it's just been so fun to have these moments that our kids always look back on and talk about, you know, things we did years ago that it's like, how do you even remember that? You were so little, but they remember, you know, these moments and these places that we've gone and kind of an unexpected thing that I've loved recently is just how educational it can be for kids to go to a new place and to try different food and to see different animals that live in other parts of the country and You know, on our recent trip to San Antonio, like I was telling you, we went to all the old Spanish missions that were built in the 1700s there and they got to see how people lived and, you know, the struggles that they had in their time. you know, it's just very hands-on education. And, you know, we do not personally homeschool, but we still get those moments to be able to be a part of our kids' education when we travel.

Courtney: Yeah, I love that. We're cut from the same cloth because I'm the same way I always am like pretend I'm a homeschool mom even though I'm not I could see some versions of my life going down that path and I just I just have such a heart for teaching my kids and so I love this school that they go to but I do think that even in the kitchen I'm like this is how you cut with a knife this is you know just like the little thing so I love that you said that travel is that way too it's like you get to be I mean that is part of all parents job whether or not you homeschool or not just to like teach them things and I even think like just talking kids through things like when you're traveling, hey, this is where, you know, explaining the buildings, explaining the people explaining what their life was like, like you could do that and not say all that or you could say all that and teach your kids while you're learning too. And it just like makes a better relationship with your kids and it's fun to like learn things together. So I love your heart behind that and what you said, cause I'm so that same way. And what about your faith? 

What would you say the role that faith plays in like your motherhood?

Melissa: I mean, yeah, it impacts everything. impacts every part of our parenthood and our family. And for travel specifically, I think it just keeps things in perspective. This trip isn't everything. Yes, we've saved for it. Yes, we've planned for it. But if something happens and we can't go, or if something happens to where our plans completely change, we're OK. The trip isn't everything. Or if there's years and years where you just can't make it work to take a family vacation. That's okay. That's not everything. Just keeping that eternal mindset in every little aspect of what we do even in our travel.

Courtney: Yeah, I love that. What a good example you are. So I have some links from you, which I will include everything in the show notes. But I'm sure there's like a lot of listeners that want to check out your blog, follow your adventures and get all the tips from you. So what are the best ways people can find you and follow along?

Melissa:
Yeah, so I would love to connect with you guys, especially if you're in the middle of planning a trip and need some help, I'd love to be there for you.

We are on Instagram at @EverydayFamilyTravelBlog

Our website is EverydayFamilyTravel.blog.

And the best place to start there if you're looking for resources would be EverydayFamilyTravel.blog/everything. And that's where I just have all of my freebies for you guys. I have free principal road trip coloring pages. I have principal itineraries and budget templates, all of those types of things.

I also have links to my free Facebook groups. I have one for Oklahoma moms and I also have just a general Facebook group for planning travel throughout the United States with kids. So I'd love to have you guys hop on there. You can ask questions, get inspired for your next trip, share tips with other families and it's just gonna be a great community to get together and help each other plan our trip.

Courtney: Love it. Okay, I just found those Facebook groups and joined so you'll see my request before this. But thank you so much for your time. I know this is such a blessing and you're just like a wealth of knowledge. So thank you for being here, Melissa.